Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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