Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

whatdumb and gay stewart price

Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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