Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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