Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops