Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

quantum physics?

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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