white or wheat? wheat please.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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HEY!

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops