Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops