Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Refridgerator.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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