How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Whats 1+1? window!

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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