On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops