How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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