19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops