How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Get up Look in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gustavo Andrade

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -12

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops