What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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