Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops