One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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