Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops