You are joking right?

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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a black, mexican, jewish, and white man fall off a cliff, who landed first ? all at the same time, they all died and there familys sued the clifff and commited sucicede

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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