What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops