swag

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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