Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Hearing that joke a million times on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops