There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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Balls

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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