What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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