Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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