Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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-knock knock! -doors open

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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hi jonny

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops