An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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hey hey apple

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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