What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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i committed murder

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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