Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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womens rights

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops