Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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why did the jewish man die answer The hollucost

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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