A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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