What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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