Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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breasts

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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