What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

learn. advance!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -33

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

your so fat. your fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops