Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops