If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops