WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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