A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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penis. nuff said.

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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