Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

yolo your orange looks orange

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops