What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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men, men like men= men+bed

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops