Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What has two legs? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops