What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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