A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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