How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What's up? Your time.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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