Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A drunk guy walks into a car

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's the difference between Osama's death and Paris Hilton's bra? A: One is Osama's death and the other is Paris Hilton's bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops