Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops