Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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