Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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