Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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