Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

thumb_up thumb_down -3

At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops