Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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