Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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