whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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