Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

What did john say to bob Hey bob

what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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