Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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42

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Brain fart

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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