What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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A Fat Kenyan

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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