There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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Your mother is average.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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I'm tired.

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all the kids had fun

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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