What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

We found a cure for cancer. Death

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +15

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops