Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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american idol

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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